Slopestyle at Sochi is beginning to feel a little bit too much like The Jump. People are getting bashed up all over the place and a long haired, wimpy ginger person has decided not to jump at all. That’s right, snowboardings loner and Willem Dafoe lookalike Shaun White has gone and done an Amy Child’s and wimped out of the slopstyle at Sochi.
White said “After much deliberation with my team, I have made the decision to focus solely on trying to bring home the third straight gold medal in halfpipe for Team USA” rambling on with “The difficult decision to forego slopestyle is not one I take lightly as I know how much effort everyone has put into holding the slopestyle event for the first time in Olympic history, a history I had planned on being a part being a part of.”
Yeah, whatever. No doubt the two times Olympic gold medalist will go on to do some damage in the half pipe, but here’s to hoping it’s his collarbone.
Ollie Peart, Shaun White fancier for The Seasonaire