How not to be a twat on your season

It’s that time of the year when everybody heads out to the alps and spends the next few months shredding pow, drinking and trying to put parts of each other into each other. That’s right, it’s officially the start of the season!

Doing a season can be a scary thing, especially if it’s your first one. For some people it’s their first time away from home, they don’t know anyone and their about to be stuck in the mountains for the next 5 months with the same people doing the same things day after day.

Luckily though, those things that become so repetitive are snowboarding and doing the easiest jobs in the world and the people you work with are likely to be real nice people. Obviously though there are twats out there, and I guarantee you will bump into one or two over the course of your season. Here’s a handy guide so you know how to not be a twat on your season.

1)Don’t be a twat
As if it wasn’t obvious.

2)Do go out and get wasted
It’s a well know fact that you’re an absolute fucking dullard if you don’t go out and get wrecked on your season. If someone suggests going for a pint then you better go for a pint, no one cares if it’s dumping and there’s going to be a powder day tomorrow. You’re not 15 anymore and you can deffo ride whilst a bit hungover. If anything, throwing up off of a chair lift only adds to the fun.

3)Don’t take your job too seriously
Cleaning toilets for Mark Warner might be the most serious job you’ve ever had, but in the grand scheme of things it’s not exactly finding the cure for cancer. If you are taking longer than 5 minutes to clean a bedroom then you are doing something wrong. And don’t you ever, ever, ever say that you are too tired to go out on the mountain/out on the piss because you had a hard shift. Doctors, truckers and the fishermen from deadliest catch have hard shifts, not you. You just tidy up after annoying middle class white people.

4)Do try and be a bit cool
I know what you’re thinking. “Who is this guy to tell me what cool is?! He went to the premier of Star Wars Episode One dressed as Yoda! What a knob!”. Well OK, you have a point. Just don’t wear any of that Spyder shit, or that Acyterk stuff, or any other punter clothes. People will laugh at you.

5)Don’t wear Jack Wills
Sorry to be a bit repetitive here, but seriously. This JW Seasonaire stuff isn’t impressing anyone.

6)Do some stunts
Go the park and fling yourself about. Best case scenario; you turn out to be the next Jamie Nicholls. Worst case scenario; who cares? chicks dig scars. If the parks not your thing then go ride some pow or jump out of a 3rd floor window when it snows loads.

7)Don’t talk about yourself doing stunts
It’s not exactly fight club, but please don’t go on about how you nearly landed a 720 or how awesome your backflip was. No one cares.

8)Do act like a seasonaire
This is the one time in your life when you can say things like “gnarly bro!”, “super radical!” and “awesome dude!” and not get rejected by society. So do it, get stuck in, have fun and remember rule number 1) don’t be a twat.

If you’ve got anything to add to our guide to how not to be twat on your season add it in the comments or post it on our facebook page! Fuck it why not even TWEET US? #HowNotToBeATwat

Thanks to my mate Simon for posing as a model for this article whilst out in Val D’isere. Is he a twat or not? YOU DECIDE.

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