Last year I went to the premiere of the first ever Grindhouse film Prequel. I got pissed, watched it and in true journo style I wrote notes as I was planning to do a review of it for any snow media outlet that would publish it.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to write notes in a dark room, pissed on cheap lager whilst watching a really good snowboard film, but it’s pretty fucking difficult. The film was good, my notes were shit and I ended up never getting round to writing anything about it. One thing I can remember though was being super stoked that this video was the first proper, good quality UK shred flick for a fair few years.
Yeah it was rail heavy and featured loads of dome shots. But seriously, fuck powder in snowboard films. I don’t want to watch hippies doing some turns or some snowboard school jock doing double corks with every different grab. Leave that shit for the red-bull-helicopter-porn-fest genre of snowboard films. And anyway, if you’re going to make a snowboard film filmed mostly in England it’s going to feature rails. Deal with it. You live in Wakefield not Whistler, and even up north it’s hard to find bluebird conditions. Even if you did, the local scallies would nick you’re RED Camera before you and your helicopter could head up for a ride on Holm Moss. It’s probably for the best if you just go to cas and film you’re snowboard video. So good on the grindhouse crew for doing exactly that and making a rad film last year; even better on them for keeping at it and making a real snow vid of a global standard in this years Scare Money.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get an invite to the Scare Money premiere in London. I think there’s a few reasons for this; A) because I don’t drink enough sugary bulls testicle juice. B) I didn’t win tickets and C) because why the fuck would anyone invite me to a premiere of their film?
Fortunately though, the Grindhouse boys are smart enough to realise that no one buys snowboard films anymore and have made it available on vimeo and as a free download. This is great because it means anyone can watch it online, I can review it from the comfort of my own home and if you’re one of the grindhouse guys you can share the link to your video on the Transworld Snowboarding website, which makes you look really fucking cool.
So yeah, unlike Travis Rice and his multi million dollar helicopter movie, Scare Money was made on a shoe string budget. I don’t really get this term, like obvs I know it means cheap, but shoe strings? Who calls them that?! They’re shoe laces aren’t they? And shoe laces are pretty expensive for what they are. Whatever, Scare Money was made without much money and it’s time for me to get on with the review.
Scare Money starts off with a scene setting bails section which makes hanging around in car parks during a blizzard look really fun but really painful. Will Smith gets intimate with the bottom of some stairs and then his section kicks off.
Rail face does more tricks on rails than I can even think of, gets all jibby on some rocks (don’t worry he get’s free boards from Salomon) and then back 7’s a powder kicker to show the world that he’s got kicker game too.
John Weatherleys section is another display of world class rail tomfoolery and is set to a song with bars such as “I wake up in the morning brush my teeth with all the money”, which is, I’m sure you’ll agree, perhaps the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever said. I’ve been sat here thinking about it for a while and it just wouldn’t work would it?! It would just leave you all Bleeding Gums Murphy, with broken teeth and bad breath.
Have rappers just ran out of good things to say? Like, c’mon is “I bake the cookie. Shape the cookie. Cook it proper, I’m the cookie monster.” The best thing you could have put in your little rap song? No. No it’s not. Fuck you Gudda Gudda.
I digress, anyway Matt McWhirter has a solid section which ends with a big front 3 to flat that can’t have been good for his knees.
The next stand out section comes from Tom Honey, who’s part has a large variety of weird features ridden in a unique way all set to a tuneful soul number. Ollie Dutton gets rad with the usual aplomb and Tom Guillmard might wear a manchester united hat but he doesn’t come across like a twat. He’s also pretty good at snowboarding.
Andy Nudds is on top form as always, just generally being super stylish and destroying everything. The highlight for me being his miller flip off of a roof and a back rodeo 7 into pow.
The whole of Scare Money is beautifully shot and put together by Jamie Durham. His eye for a nice shot makes Scare Money aesthetically pleasing whilst not distracting from the riding going on. It also captures the riding and sets the scene in an innovative, well produced way whilst not getting all lame and prolix by filming boring shit like helicopter blades spinning round reallllly slowly. As a bit of a bonus section at the end there’s some amazing time lapses and a couple of shots of some nice looking boats. Which is great, I fucking love boats.