Last night I had the displeasure of watching Kate Humble prattle on about last years cold snap that cost the UK Economy millions of pounds and left thousands of stupid people stranded because they forgot how to use their legs. I wouldn’t normally sit through an hour of the most annoying presenter on TV, however I felt it necessary viewing and valuable research for this blog. I was wrong.
The show asked the question will it snow? And the answer that we got was a typical BBC non answer “Well, some people say that we are headed for a mini ice age while others think that we are headed for a spell of mild winters”. So what is the answer? Well, there isn’t one. Turns out that the Earth’s atmosphere is so chaotic that even the slightest deviation on one side of the planet could change an entire weather pattern on the other side of the world.
I love that. I love not knowing what is going to happen and that even the smallest of things could have potentially catastrophic effects on the weather. I could use this theory to try and get us a great winter this year with some of the best pow ever. All I need to do is persuade ever single Philippine to open their fridge and hold in their farts for a month. However I don’t think that I have the networking muscle to make this happen so will have to cross my fingers and hope for the best.
Everyone knows this. We all know that the weather is an unpredictable demon that can’t be tamed, managed or controlled. We go out everyday risking getting a little wet from rain that has not been forecast, blasted with wind that was never predicted and pummelled with hail that didn’t make it into the Breakfast weather report. So why ask the question “will it snow?” When you know that the answer is nobody really knows? I don’t need a upper middle class, pompous, land-grabbing, Barbour wearing, country bumpkin wannabe telling me what I already don’t know. So you know what? SHUT UP HUMBLE!